6 Degrees Of Me

Kal-El @ 10x
strength of BM

Just thinking back to the original discussion about this post got me excited again. The origins of this debate were started in N. Carolina when I was commuting with my fellow Jersey-ite and future boss Andrew Ho. I believe we were discussing the Justice League Unlimited Cartoon on Cartoon Network that has since been discontinued. I had mentioned in passing that Superman was my favorite superhero and probably the greatest comic book character ever created. Andy vehemently disagreed and placed Bruce Wayne’s alter ego at the top of his list. He cited a number of reasons for this decision which I’ll recount later in this post.The debate came up again about a month ago. My buddy Neil, his brother Kyle, college friend Doyl, work friend Dr. Yonclas, and I were returning from Neil’s Bachelor party out west. Somehow the conversation deevolved into the Superman vs. Batman debate, pitting me against all 3 of the other passengers. With my wits about me I was able to bob, weave, and counterpunch my way to a no decision amongst the group.

[[[[a plug for a pal: My buddy Neil’s little brother, Kyle Jasey, started a business a couple of years ago. Here’s an exerpt of what he does from his website:

College Flavor Inc began in the summer of 2004 when 3 friends just couldn’t take it any more. They were tired of seeing millions of young people a adorning their walls and their bodies with the same old mediocre posters and t-shirts. The three mavericks started a company whose mission was to create the best damn posters and t-shirts anywhere.

Back to the debate. I played golf last weekend. Before we went out to play the-worst-round-known-to man, my buddies (michael stotler/michael decerbo/neil jasey) and I sat around in the Plainfield Country Club (please: 1. click this link 2. read the dress code policy 3. ask what i was doing playing there) clubhouse eating and discussing college football. SOMEHOW, the topic once again made it’s way over to Superman v Batman.�

I’d like to take the time to end this debate once and for all. I’ve put together my top 10 reasons why i believe superman is a far superior superhero than batman. Enjoy

1. Superman can fly. batman swings from a rope which is pretty much an upgrade from the one tarzan used.
2. Superman has superstrength. batman, being a human being, gets weaker every day he wakes up.
3. Superman has the knowledge of multiple cultures in multiple galaxies. batman’s dad was rich and he was a legacy @ Yale ** Granted, he knows a lot about Gothem but he probably knows very little about middle class citizens like myself
4. Superman has few weaknesses. See point #2 for batman

5. Christopher Reeves vs. Adam West. Are you even kidding me?
6. Superman dresses as Clark Kent as a disguise. When he’s Superman he’s just being himself (Thanks to Kevin Smith for that one). Batman is essentially mascarading as a flying rat. That’s just nasty
7. Superman can save the ENTIRE WORLD in countless ways. batman can too — he can take some of that hard earned dough and by a 3rd world country and put up some hotels and condos and give those 3rd world citizens decent paying jobs.
8. Superman has x-ray vision whereas batman has a trusty utility belt. How many times does the villain have to steal that freaking thing before he learns to stuff it in his jock strap or wear it around his ankle. Most people learn that lesson after one trip to Mardi Gras.
9. Yes, he has super powers and can do things faster than most but you can’t knock the lower middle class upbringing and honest farm work. batman reminds me of Ricky Schroeder on Silver Spoons. I hated that kid.
10. Superman can straight up murder Batman in countless ways:

a. Fly around the world a few times to 39 years in the future. Fly down to gothem. Go to florist. Visit Gothem cemetary and place rose on batman’s grave.
b. snap his fingers and wait 22 seconds for the sound waves to collapse batman’s inner ear (well it won’t kill him but it will f*&^ up his balance for the rest of his life

batman you suck

c. x-ray vision his prostate for 30 minutes a day until he gets prostate cancer
d. promise aquaman he won’t murder him if he commands the batcave bats to eat bruce wayne and alfred for brunch.
e. kick him dead in his chest. note: batman could use kryptonite purchased from fellow richboy lex luthor but how would he use it on superman,
especially after superman’s deluge into space (see pt a).

** The facts in point #3 may be disputed. They are more used to point out the disparity in cultural upbringings.

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