6 Degrees Of Me

I was a tv addict as a kid. I would sneak a peak at the television with any opportunity that I was given. My addiction was particular bad with shows that I really liked. I was thinking back to a few of those shows and realized that they ended up being fairly random and somewhat unpopular programs. Below is a a list of some of the more offbeat types of shows that I watched. I liked most of them quite a bit and would watch them religiously. I did end up listing a few shows that I didn’t like but listed by virtue of their randomness..
In No Particular Order:

1)

a new boy in the neighborhood, lives down the stairs and is………..understood. He’s there just to take good care of me…. like he’s one of the family

What you’ve just watched is the first installment of Charles in Charge starring Scott Baio and “hey-it’s-me-buddy” lembeck (Willie Ames). The show started off with Charles, a 19 year old college student, acting as a “male steward” for a well to do family in New Brunswick, NJ (Most likely Rutgers). The show got cancelled after a little while but was “rejuvified” on a new network with a new cast. Cue intro #2:

This is the version that most folks remember. This version starred josie davis[please click for further details] (who did some later work on 90210) and the ever-so-svelt Nicole Eggert, from time timeless classic “Blown Away (you SURE DO want to click here)” starring the Coreys.

[NOTE: some time has passed since Charles in Charge. Nicole Eggert was once the girl that every hetero prepube lad had a crush on. If you've clicked on the two above links you might venture to say that Ms. Davis has supplanted Ms. Eggert as the top Charles in Charge Beauty.

One more thought. Now that I think back to the show I'm left wondering if any parent would truly feel comfortable leaving their children under the supervision of a "male steward" and a frequently visiting, hopped-up-on-coca sidekick. Seriously, Charles and the Jamie Powell character were only separated by 3 years. I think under normal "real-life" circumstances Charles would have anesthetized Adam and Sarah powell and in the parents' absence would be doing Jamie doggy on mommy and daddy's spacious king size bed. Just a thought..

2)

An earthling's a creature who's as plain as can be. He's not as unique as you and me... his body comes in lots of different shapes. They say his relatives were chimps and apes....

That's right. It's Out of This World Starring Maureen Flannigan. Don't ask me how I remembered that name. It's about as omish, plain, and unremarkable as a name can get. The show's premise is that Evie's mother banged some space alien from the planet Antares(sp?). He had to leave a little while after Evie was born, leaving Evie confused and alone regarding her blossoming alien powers.

Our friend Evie shares a power with one of the stars of the current day tv show Heroes. She and Hiro Nakamura both have the ability to stop time. Only, Evie does this buy touching her index fingers together. Hiro does it by taking a huge simulated dump in his pants.

Perhaps producers of this Heroes should bring the Evie Garland character back to life. She stacks up pretty well with the other characters from that show. Here are some of her other powers:

• Evie can also gleep — which allows her to bring fake objects into existence. There are certain restrictions on this power, such as the inability to create complicated machinery, and overuse of this power will cause her fallopian tubes other abilities to stop functioning.
• Evie has the ability to instantly teleport herself from one place to another, by snapping her fingers.

I remember the show started off strong in the first season. There was a common theme that blanketed each episode. Evie would generally abuse her powers and spend the remaining 21 minutes trying to fix her mistakes. I believe the show evolved into Evie trying to live a normal life, dating some meathead from the football team, and using her powers less and less (ala Smallville). It's a shame it had to end the way it did.

3)

The D.J Kat Show. This show would mark the end of my stupendous Saturdays, when I would watch cartoons all morning long. The DJ Kat show would be the transition program which bridged cartoon land with more adult themed shows that were show later on in the day. I didn't really like this show that much but remember, I was a tv addict. Also, if I was able to stomach a 1/2 hour of this show, sometimes I was rewarded in the early afternoons with Kung Fu theatre. You couldn't beat over-the-top martial arts combined with the worst possible voice dubbing.

I watched a few seconds of a clip of DJ Kat from youtube and decided not to post any video of this show. Whoever did the voice for the puppet was a complete jackass. He tries to sound like Redd Foxx but sounds like some lame "cat" who puts on his best i'm-totally-from-the-hood voice. You still suck, DJ Kat

4)

Look at what's happened to me... i can't believe it myself... suddenly i am on top of the world.. should have been somebody else...................

The Greatest American Hero.

I'm sure most of you remember this show albeit hazily. I remember watching the show but I was so young that most of what it was about eluded me. All I remember was that the main character, Ralph, was given a super-suit by aliens that would allow him to fight evil doers. He lost the instructions for the suit couldn't do basic superhero things like landing on his feet after flying.

I read a bit more about the show online and found this out:

sequences where he flies through the air under his own power usually show him flailing his arms and legs, instead of adopting the Superman-like "arms extended, legs together" pose. In fact, his first flight results in a terrifying experience of him hurtling out of control until he rams head first into a building wall. The basic powers outside of flying included super strength, resistance to injury, invisibility, precognition, telekinesis, super speed, X-ray vision, and psychometry. He also showed signs of being able to control minds.

I wish I owned that suit. Or at least a wife-beater with similar powers. I would wear that damn wife beater every day, even to work. Except, I wouldn't wear a dress shirt over it. I probably would wear pants either. And if anyone questioned me about my lack of business attire I would use my wife beater's mind control powers to have them shut the fuck up.

After reading a little bit more about the show I was really tempted to buy it on DVD. I navigated over to Amazon and found that they have it for a decent price. Part of me was hesitant because my childhood memories are always tainted. Every time I think back to something I really liked as a kid my the first phrase that pops into my head is "OH MAN I REMEMBER THAT... IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME." And then I actually experience that "freaking awesome" thing at my current age and it without fail, is no longer "totally freaking awesome"..
NOTE: I found Season 1 on Netflix -- It's on it's way!! (total setup for failure).

5)

She's fantastic.....made with plastic.... microchips here and there.... she's a small wonder ... she brings love and laughter... everywhere..........................

Vicky is Such a Bitch

V.I.C.I (Voice Input Child Identicant pronounced "vicky") was the female counterpart to Lieutenant Data from the Starship Enterprise. She was created by Dr. Noonien Soong Ted Lawson. VICI was originally built to assist handicapped kids. Ted brought the android home to familiarize it to life as a human being.

I loved this show growing up but again, it was aired when I was like 7, and my memory about it is pretty fuzzy. I remember that the Lawson's had this annoying ass neighbor who was in love with their flesh and bones son. I also remember the cliche episode where VICI gets emotional and sheds tears even though she doesn't have any tear ducts.
Most of the show was spent hiding the fact that the Lawsons owned a monotonous toned, stiff walking android who slept standing in the son's coat closet (c'mon people....are you serious?). When you're 7, you don't really realize that shows follow a standard script. You also don't realize how frightfully unbelievable a show can be. You just sit drooling in front of the tube taking all of the propaganda good times in.

Note: I find myself behaving the same way these days for shows like 24 -- I mean really, the show is about as standard as they come. Picture Jack Bauer, hiding in the baggage section of a 747, speaking in a rushed, barely audible whisper. The camera-work is shot so close that you can see the actors' nostril hair if you're watching in HD. The music is the type that they play in small restaurants to get people to eat fast as hell and ask for the check 15 minutes after getting seated. Every "hour" Jack shoots a few bad guys from [insert random poorly known country here].

And I love every minute of it just like I did when I was a kid. Why? Because I’m still a tv addict.
[ANY COMMENTS? ARE THERE ANY RANDOM SELDOMLY WATCHED SHOWS FROM YESTERYEAR THAT YOU MIGHT REMEMBER?]

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